On Rushing

It's what I do.

I remember writing a newspaper column about how I make a habit of jumping head first into things without checking the depth of the water--I trust that I can make it, and I normally do. All of my life decisions have been made like that, and most of the time it has worked out.
(Note: there's something so humbling and humiliating re-reading columns you published in an actual, circulating newspaper when you were a wee babe of 23/24. So young and green!)

Granted, this method has its drawbacks. These are drawbacks I can justify, though--had I not rushed through college, I wouldn't have taken that summer job and re-sparked my friendship with Andy. If I had stayed in the corporate world and not abandoned it for a soul-crushing newspaper job, I wouldn't have had the experience necessary to get my job. If I hadn't rushed through my MFA, I wouldn't have had the credentials to be hired at my dream job when I did. If we hadn't gone and seen that scam of a house on a hill, we wouldn't have ended up here in our perfect corner of the world.

The only clear and present sour stain in life that has been borne from my penchant for rushing is called consumer debt, and, well, it sucks.

In addition, I rushed some home projects last fall. Andy feels great pleasure at me finally having not gotten my ill-conceived way, I think, as it's been a lesson I've needed for a long time (while I can see the positives in many negatives, like I listed above, it's time to slow down and tread water for a while, I think). Because of this, we have some paint chipping off the house and porches, as a visual reminder to me that this is what happens when you paint or force others to powerwash and paint in November. It just. doesn't. stick.

So now the trick is getting things in life to stick. I have achieved so much of what I want in life by utilizing the run-and-dive method, and now the time has come to maintain. Since I've been moving forward breathlessly for 28.5 years, I'm not quite sure how to maintain. It's something I need to work on. Steadily, and slowly.